I just wanted to say thank you…..

I am most grateful to two amazing photographers from completely different studios, who have snapped photo’s of me over the last few months.

When I perform I feel the magik, using my intuition and respond to the gorgeous faces in the audience. It’s never one show fits all. Seeing the gorgeous faces and moving bodies in the images confirms what I do – I create MAGIK! Seeing the wonder I create is the second best feeling in the world only to how I feel when I play. I believe I radiate my essence which including love, laughter and loopiness. I also see these qualities in the photo’s. So thank you, thank you, thank you to both you very talented gals for capturing me and my audience.

Chloe at Ruby Summit Photography (I studied with Chloe at UOW as part of my Bachelor of Digital Media degree.) She is amazing, great with big and small kiddies and a super individual.

Find Chloe at https://www.facebook.com/RubySummitPhotography or http://rubysummit.com.au/
Chloe works out of Wollongong and of course travels.

Chloe is my go to girl for photo’s.

   

The other photographer is https://www.facebook.com/OrchidKrusePhotography, whose name I do not know.

 
Orchid Kruse works out of Macarthur? or Sydney? (head scratch) and I’m sure will travels too.

Obviously Orchid Kruse is great at clicking in the exact moment to capture
the action. When I saw the photo’s for the first time I was stunned by
how she was able to capture the mood exactly – the delight, the wonder and the happiness. What I create in a show was there in the photos. You are a gem.

Here’s what I posted on facebook in response to the above photo’s from OrchidKruse……
Image captured by Orchid Kruse Photography (love the name) at my show yesterday.
I love bring this giggly delight to kids…I actually do that. Wow!I have tears of joy. Such wonderful characters.

Orchid Kruse Photography did an amazing job yesterday at Kids Day Out Fly to Neverland fundraiser for the Kids of Macarthur Health Foundation.
Thank you.

Both Photographers photo’s are featured on this my website.

Most people have bucket lists, filled with places they want to visit and activities and experiences they wish to try. Mine is over flowing with new skills I want to master to varying degrees. I don’t necessarily want to be world champ in any or take out a Guinness world record, but I won’t rule that out either. As I play I may narrow down what I want to become more proficient in. For now here’s what’s on my list.

Unicycle-hockey (it’s an actual thing)

Play the Guitar and sing at the same time

Pull ups just like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 (excluding mental institution.)

Lizard and spider crawl, various handstands and on the grass back flip

Slacklining including one or two tricks

Free diving,

Outdoor rock climbing

Open water swimming

Tap dance

Bow and Arrows also known as archery

and learning a language probably Passamaquoddy (Native American language)

At the moment I’m focused on first three.

I did learn something at school, I think it was how to be a workaholic. But I didn’t learn how to learn…it was more along the lines of, ‘cram in as much as i could and remember it just long enough to regurgitate in an exam. This was usual under stressful conditions – the night before.

I now want to know the optimal way to learn new things.
Is it simply repetition? Or is it something much more?

Peter Sage an English motivational coach makes these points about learning:

There are 4 phrases to learning.

Stage one: A person is Unconsciously Incompetent – they don’t know what they don’t know. (Stay with this, it is going somewhere)

Stage two: Consciously Incompetent – when you find what you want to learn
but you don’t know how to do it. Sometimes as adults I think we lose out way in what we want to learn, even what we like. So be mindful of things that spark your interest.

Stage three: You become Consciously Competent – basically, you learn a new skill and it starts to sink in although you still have to be mindful of the task as you perform it.

Stage four: You become Unconsciously Competent – you master it and don’t need to think about it – you just do.

Here’s the gold. At what stage do you think the majority of people give up at?

Stage 2!
We get overwhelmed with what we are learning and it prevents us from taking action. It triggers a huge fear of ‘I’m not good enough,’ and we tell ourselves there is no point in trying.

On my journey to learning these 3 new skills I want to share with you some tips and insight to help you stick it out at Stage 2, and how we can encourage and support our kiddos to do the same.

Sage also says, that you during the learning process, to physically master the skill then you need to emotionally bond with it, but it isn’t until it becomes part of your identity that the learning stays with you.

So WHY do you want to learn the skill in the first place?
WHY is key to everything. More about that in future blogs – Why is worth exploring.

I can tell you exactly why I want to learn to ride the unicycle – play guitar and do pull ups – maybe not all at the same time.

Learning the unicycle is part of my journey to play unicycle hockey. I want to play this team sport for social benefits and it looks like great fun.

In regards to the guitar – I love writing songs and music is great for the brain. I want to be able to play the guitar and sing at the same time for greater self expression.

The pull up – I have wanted to learn ever since I saw Terminator 2.
To be strong, really strong not pumped up with marshmallows on my arms is really appealing to me – Strong mind – Strong body.

I want these skills to be part of who I am. I can visualize these skills – untapped as part of my DNA, waiting to be brought out. It has nothing to do with proving myself to anyone else, not even myself. It just feels apart of me. And it looks like fun, and I’m all about the FUN!.

The other reason is that if I can master these skills then it will assist me to break down the bigger goals I have for my life. If I learn at this level, I can reproduce the formula in the art of learning in other areas of my life. In my mind the unicycle and guitar are some of the more difficult challenges available to us – especially playing guitar and singing. 20 years ago I was deeply embarrassed when I attempt to play mandolin and sing in public. It was disastrous. I gave up. Never played mandolin again. I bought a guitar instead. My guitar has been in my home for over 10 years and I’ve tried to teach myself. I even arranged lessons for my kiddo when I really wanted the lessons for myself. I didn’t know that at the time. The silly things we do.

I previously owned a unicycle – I attempted to learn, didn’t get far; then lent the unicycle to someone for five years; when I got it back I sold it at a garage sale for less then $50.

I have stared at the monkey bars at the park and willed myself to do the pull ups. I could barely swing across from bar to bar, so how was I ever going to pull myself up?

What’s different now?

I have found two great teachers willing to teach me. The great movement specialist Ido Portal who advocates for generalists movement skills as opposed to specializing in one type of movement, says when you find a great teacher, learn whatever they will teach you. Portal is a great teacher himself, yet is on the look out for teachers who can teach him more.

Tip 1. Find a good teacher.
Jason Scott – The Movement Mentor is a movement technician and alternative personal trainer based in Wollongong and is assisting with the pull ups and unicycling.

Mark Richardson is a uni friend and is a master of guitar and music theory – he is guiding me through the guitar playing process.

Stage 1 and 2 has been taken care of.

So speak your truth about what you want to learn and find a teacher. Learning from YouTube is one thing, but doesn’t necessarily get you very far. Human contact, direct feedback on what you are doing right and wrong is invaluable. It does depends on what kind of person you are, for most a good prompt/push/encouragement goes a long way to helping you to get to Stage 3.

Mark says during my lessons in a rather stern voice ‘ here you go.. 2, 3, 4…’ Indicating play now. It’s a rather firm push. I often hear him in my thoughts when I’m practicing.

Jason says when training in a rather firm voice ‘now ride,’ meaning let go of my arm and ride the unicycle solo. I also hear his voice in my head when I’m practicing. Jason says a similar thing when I’m just standing there in front of the chin up bar balking.

Tip 2.Visualise inbetween physical practice is essential.

I visualize playing and riding when I’m not physically riding or playing, it actually helps improve my skill level. Sometimes I visualize myself playing guitar while riding the unicycle.
Maxwell Maltz states in his book ‘Psycho-Cybernetics,’ that ‘if we picture ourselves performing in a certain manner, it is nearly the same as the actual performance. Mental practice helps to make perfect.’

Maltz highlights an experiment involving three groups of people throwing a basketball into a hoop. Day one everyone was tested to see how many basket they could shoot. The test was repeated on the last day to gauge the overall improvement of each group.
During the 20 days of practice:
Group 1 physically practiced everyday for 20 minutes per day.
Group 2 did not practice at all during the practice period.
Group 3 Practiced in their imagination.

The results
Group 1 improved by 24 percent
Group 2 showed no improvement
Group 3 improved by 23%

 

Visualisation is an essential part of the process.

Define the goal and and visual that success.

Tip 3.Positive self-talk is crucial.

Recalling feelings of happiness when you learned another skill is important – it can be anything even something simple like learning to catch at ball. For me I recall two skills I have previously mastered.

Happy thought one is Chess. I have always wanted to know how you move the pieces. Now I know. I can just beat my 12 year old kiddo, I have to work for it. I over emphasized the difficulty of learning the pieces for so long and blew the difficulty out of proportion. I remember thinking that I wasn’t smart enough, because Chess is for smart people. Not me. How silly of me. The first thing that comes to mind, when I think of Chess now – ‘is oooh, I know how to play.’

Happy thought two is walking across the 20metre railing at my local beach without falling off. I love this one. When I think about it, even for a second, it makes me physically smile. I always believed I could do it.

If I can do these things – both took practice and patience – I can play guitar, unicycle and pull ups. I just need to practice and be patient.

Tell yourself you can. ‘I can – I will – I am.’ It feels great! I occasionally chant it while banging my drum. Telling myself I failed at something in the past is just plain mean. Sometimes I want to dob myself into the police – I’m such a bully. I’m still working on not revisiting and recalling ‘mistakes,’ I think I made in the past, there is no place for that either. Be your own cheer squad.

4. Be Prepared to get uncomfortable
Be prepared to get uncomfortable and know failing is part of the process. I have fallen off the unicycle so many times. I’m a wobbler still and I’m comfortable with being a wobbler and continually correcting my balance. Maybe that’s another reason why I picked unicycle.

The guitar chords especially the c and f chords on my guitar sound horrible sometimes, yet I keep strumming in time with the foot tapping. Just keep strumming as music is about the timing. And so I keep strumming and changing the fingering.

5.Acknowledge small victories along the way.
Be aware that some days, you will progress with leaps and bounds and on others it will feel like you are going backwards but you are not.
When you have a successful day do lots of fist pumping and hi fives. On the days that are challenging take it on the chin and keep going. Understand mentally that it’s all part of the process.

Day 1 of unicycling, lets say I was at A. By day 3 I got to C. On day 6 I felt I had leapt ahead to H. Then day 7, it all felt like it all went wrong and I was at C again.

It occurred to me that learning is a process. Some days of course you feel in the flow or zone, others you aren’t.

Maltz says, ‘All skill learning is accomplished by trial and error, by making a trial, missing the mark, consciously remembering the degree of error, and making correction on the next trial – until finally make a hit, or a successful attempt is accomplished.’

6.Relax and enjoy.

You’ll want to practice more if it’s not a chore and you’re doing it for the right reasons.

Be prepared for mistakes and relax – you absorb more in when you are simply enjoying it. Being in a relaxed playful state is optimal. If you are under duress your brain and body doesn’t function as well. Be mindful of the other benefits….
Being outdoors
Engaging with other people
Seeing dolphins ( I actually saw a large pod of dolphins on day 6 one of my best days learning the unicycle.)
Exercising your body and/or brain.

So don’t be in a hurry. Enjoy the process. (Self Talk note….Enjoy Lavender Lily…Relax Lavender Lily….enjoy the skill will develop)

How we can help our kids with learning.
Josh Waitzkin, child prodigy chest champion – you may know of him from the movie Searching for Bobby Fischer. In his book, ‘The art of learning,’Waitzkin refers to two types of learners – Entity theorist and Learning theorists.

An Entity theorist uses language to describe their progress in terms of
‘I am smart at this’ and rationalizes their progress based on fixed intelligence – meaning they identify they only have the potential to achieve in certain areas because of natural ability.

Learning theorists use language like ‘I got it, because I worked very hard at it or I should have tried harder.’ These learners know that incremental steps are needed to achieve rather then because of a mental or physical ability.

According to Dr Carol Dweck a researcher into styles of learning, believes that it’s the learning theorists who are more likely to achieve goals as they associate success with hard work. Entity theorists are prone to quit because they relate success with either being smart or dumb.

In a study conducted by Dweck, a group of children who were either learning or entity theorists were given three sets of math challenges.
Challenge 1. Easy Math problems to solve – both groups got the equations correct.
Challenge 2. Very difficult maths problems – no one got the Math equations correct.
Challenge 3. Easy Math problems – the learning theorists got them right and the entity theorists got them wrong. Dweck put this down to the confidence of the Entity theorist’s was shattered by challenge 2 and they couldn’t move past it. While the Learning theorists identified the equations were just too difficult in challenge 2 and moved onto the easier challenge 3 approaching it fresh.

Waitzkin says that as parents, we make can assist children to associate diligent and persistent work with success.

To assist children to associates effort with success and intelligence unfixed in a particular subject here’s a helpful response technique.
A child gets a good result in a math test – the parent responses with ‘you put the work in and you got the result.’ While the same child receives poor results in English the parent response with, ‘if you put some more energy into English, I know you can improve. I’m here to help you.’ Instead of attributing the failure to not being smart or dumb in that particular area of study.

When I started unicycle and guitar I wasn’t good at it. I sucked. Completely.
Why would I repeat that to myself over and over? Why say its because I’m dumb at it. If it were easy, it would be potentially boring. If it were so hard surely only a few people in the world would mastered these skills.

I love this quote from Maxwell Maltz, ‘growth comes at the expense of previous comfort and safety.’ We all like to be comfortable but where does comfort get you….on the lounge and missing out on seeing the dolphins.

Check out my unicycle progress at www.facebook.com/lavenderlilyentertainer

 

The Sugarfree Birthday party? Is it possible? Lavender Lily asks. Is it possible to satisfied children with a Processed-Sugar-free Birthday Cake?

Is it possible to have a successful party without lollies?

Can we satisfy kids with inspirational or exciting entertainment, so they don’t even notice that there is no processed sugar insight?

I’ve been asking myself these questions over the past few weeks, with my own daughter’s 12th birthday party fast approaching. Czarina, my daughter is not exactly keen on the whole ‘no processed sugar,’ at her party, even though that’s how we usually eat at home. She still ask me to put ’just a little treat,’ in her lunch box to be like the other kids. This means a few cookies, chips or a small piece of chocolate. It’s turning into a small battle for her party.

At birthday parties I’ve always prioritized the ‘entertainment’ because that’s what my business specializes in – providing a different
creative and theatrical experience with lots of interactive opportunities through storytelling adventures, concerts and discos rather then the same old parties games with cheap plastic prizes – that are now not so cheap to buy, even at wholesale prizes.

The next most important element would be the cake. I rather love arriving at a party to discover what shape, flavor and theme has been created or bought. Today they look more like art then being edible.

Next the decorations or venue – I love a well-dressed room and colourful backdrops are always a hit as they add so much colour. I provided those at my parties, wink wink.

Invitations come in at number four on the list, as they set the tone for the entire party. It’s a perfect opportunity to get creative.

Food is number five. The food is always down the list, because I regularly see children at parties eat for five minutes and leave half of it behind anyway. I’ve seen lots of wasted party food over the years. It’s not just about the sugar its the amount of food laid out
and lots of food is wasted. On average a household throws away $1036 per year which includes 27% on leftovers. As a nation leftover wastage is 2.18 billion. Check out all the food wastage stats at http://www.foodwise.com.au/foodwaste/food-waste-fast-facts/

Even after discussing with my party parents when they book me in, it still surprises me how much food is served as well as how elaborate and sugary it is. How much food is enough?

Another issue is the additives used by confectionary companies to create their sugar treats. Check out additional information from Choice Australia.
https://www.choice.com.au/food-and-drink/food-warnings-and-safety/food-additives/articles/food-additives-you-should-avoid Oh how I once loved fairy bread.

I am guilty of providing a wee bit too much sugar at the daughter’s parties in the past, simply because it’s the done thing. But the ‘occasional treat,’ has well established itself as an ‘at every occasion, no matter how small,’ thing. Somehow there is always an occasion or excuse a plate of sugar and additives. Last week a friend’s child arrived home with a handful of pink iced biscuits. I asked Miss Z where she got the pink biscuit’s? ‘My teacher,’ she giggled, ‘they were part of our maths lesson.’ What? Do we now have to bribe kids with treats to learn? Miss Z then said that she had also had a cup cake earlier that day because it was a classmate’s birthday. My daughters class birthday cake ritual started to really bother me about two years ago, particularly because there is another child in
the class with a birthday the day before and another one the day after hers. Cake three days in a row. It started to make me feel sick.
In the last two years my diet has changed dramatically, so now the question of sugarless birthday parties have haunted me more than ever. I have seen the documentary ‘That Sugar Film,’ it could be called that scary film. Click through for the trailer, https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6uaWekLrilY ,it’s available to hire at your local video shop

Finally the take home lolly bag or gift – Shhh don’t tell but I do think this is unnecessary. Although, I have sent kids home with over –the-top gifts just because they fit the theme and I’ve never been I’m not a fan of lolly bags.

All these questions led me to do a little digging on the history of the Birthday to help me figure out a possible solution.The Egyptians first celebrated the coronation of Pharaoh’s as a birthday day some 3000 (BCE ie/before the common era) ago. After all it was the anniversary of them becoming a god and worth honouring. The Greeks offered moon shaped cakes with candles to Artemis the goddess of hunting and nature. The Romans celebrated the birthday of male citizen only on their 50th and would be given a cake made of wheat flour, olive oil, honey and grated cheese.

In Victorian times, parties were a way of showing off your social status. Is this still the case today? Many parents have revealed to me that their child’s party needed to be great, to help the birthday child with their friendship groups.

Germany is considered the birthplace of modern celebrations as they honored a person’s birth each year with a cake and candles (corresponding to how old the person was turning), as well as establishing the tradition of blowing out the candles and making a wish. The song happy birthday wasn’t added until 1934.

It was after the World War II where the Birthday party became an essential part of childhood. The responsibility of organizing the party including the activities and games was up to the mum, to do in the home. As women eventually went out to work, mum’s handed over this responsibility to outside help (lucky for me).

When I first offered party entertainment, characters were still rare in the suburbs of Sydney – the new trend was Faeries, followed by Pirates. That was 20 years ago. I was one of the first faeries in Sydney when I was still in Year 10 at High School.

I joked to the party parents back then that they could pay me in lollies. I was, joking! Well kind of. Three back to back parties on a Saturday is exhausting and I always needed a pick me up, especially being a vegetarian. Carbohydrates and endless vegetables weren’t enough to sustain me. I needed S-U-G-A-R. or looking back now maybe some meat.

Needless to say it only took a few very successful years of endless parties for me to become ‘a bigger girl,’ as one grandmother recently described me when I visited her daughter over 10 years ago. How can one say no to a birthday child offering a piece of their birthday cake along with an invitation to eat together in their favourite spot in their garden. I couldn’t. For about three years I had chronic fatigue,but it’s funny how when it was performance time I somehow found the energy. It was a very strict diet restored my boundless energy levels.

So with this new found historical knowledge, what to serve at my daughter’s 12th Bubble Soccer birthday party? One girl is a vegetarian, one is gluten free, another is dairy free, there are three that refuse to eat anything with palm oil and the one who is just plain fussy (there is always one). I booked the party around dinnertime. Rookie mistake. I usually hold the party on a Saturday 2pm – 4/5pm. Not near dinner or lunch. The venue manager said ninety percent of people order in pizza! Not me.

I have come up with this alternative menu. Let’s call it The Great Party Food Experiment.

Sausages (pastured) or Falafels on organic Spelt Sourdough.
With sauce options of hommus – spicy tomato sauce – avocado dip
That’s it!

For the cake …… A proceed-sugar free, organic, dairy free gluten free, Raw Berry Birthday cake by Alisha of Raw Vibe.

The Raw Berry Birthday cake from Raw Vibes

https://www.facebook.com/rawvibesorganic
Alisha makes beautiful looking cakes which are actually full of ingredients that taste great, fill you up and might even do you some good – with no sickly after taste.

What I’m attempting to do, is set a precedence. We parents need to stick together. If it can be done once by me, it could be done again by you.

Will it work?

I will let you know.

The results……

The Venue refused to take the display lollies off the counter. So there were lollies in plain sight. I even asked the venue if they could cover them up – they wouldn’t.

The Left overs

Half a load of bread
Half a container of hummus
Half the falafels all were eaten over the next 2 days
as well as a 1/5 of the healthy birthday cake.

The Answers to the Questions posed at the top of the article……

Is it possible to satisfied children with a Processed-Sugar-free Birthday Cake?
The answer is Yes! The cake was a huge success thanks to Alisha at Raw Vibes.
Is it possible to have a successful party without lollies?
Yes it is. Czarina’s social status is in tact and everyone had the faery best time.
Can we satisfy kids with inspirational and exciting entertainment and activities, so they don’t even notice that there is no processed sugar insight?

It’s a mixed verdict on this one. Some said yes they were satisfied while some said no. The Lollies on the counter that the management refused to take down, were a hiccup for some and caused them to drool.

Do you notice there was no sugar?

Bronti : ‘I saw the lollies on the counter up there and I just wanted some.’

Lily: ‘Nope. I didn’t miss the sugar.’

Bella: ‘Yes I did miss the sugar. (when Bella realized it was for this article she changed her mind to no.)